Troop 1337
by madamecrystal
Summary: start of a fanfic I have been planing for a long time, warning there is a fem scout if you don't like that then don't read. tips and help welcome, hope you like it
1. Chapter 1

She sat waiting for her ride. She look around, bat in hand and a backpack on her back. She kicked the suitcase at her side out of nervousness as she waited; this was going to be a big day. She had said her goodbyes, possibly the last ones she would get to say to her friends and family, and now felt like a death row inmate. She heard and smelled an old van coming up the road.

"Guess their exhaust needs a fix" she thought as it pulled up next to her. The door opened showing a man, about forty, tall, lanky and wearing aviator sunglasses.

"G'day shelia, seen moi pick up here?" he asked smiling

"Depends, would they have a messenger bag, hat and bat like mine?"

"Ya mean you're him?" He seemed shocked, but the girl just laughed

"Actually I'm a girl, and it's not shelia, its May" she smiled "You my ride?"

"Guess so, hop in then" he said, a little irritated "don't know why they would hire a sheila though..."

She was warned about that in the academy

"they won't be thrilled when women enter the battlefield but don't let it bother you, they will get used to you in time, if they want to go home that is..." that last part was too, ominous for her to think about, 'if they want to go home' even if they do get used to her, they may go home either way, it's how and in what she wondered about. She missed the academy too, it was safe but she didn't really have a say. She became a scout to earn some money, help her dad, pay off her loans for college, flimsy reasons compared to her classmates. She wasn't a roughneck off the streets like they were, no she had a nice life. She figured that was why she wasn't as speedy as others in her classes. At first this was an issue, a giant target painted on her back. That ended when she showed them what a lack of speed meant.

'So we got ourselves a school brat?' her driver said, waking her from her daydream

'Yeah...I went to the academy...' she started

'Keep in mind then that this is no game you are walking into shelia' he said, sounding like a scolding parent

'no its a war with respawn and deathrow inmates running around, only slightly better than normal wars' she snapped back, annoyed

"So the shelia's got a mouth on her..." the driver started

"How else would I breath, eat and speak" she said

"Didn't know scouts had wit" the driver countered

"This one does" she smiled "by the way who are you anyways?"

"Call me sniper; no one bothers with names unless you get a reputation"

"So guess I am scout now huh?" May said, a little sullenly

"gonna be confusing, we already have a scout" sniper said

"Then why did they put me with you and not a team that needed a scout..."

"Our leader's idea, two speedy little runts"

"I'm not that fast..."

"Gonna have to be..."

The ride was quiet after that, nothing but desert for most of the trip, it was nice but May could only think of what she got herself into, what would the 'leader' say if he found out she wasn't a running scout. She sat back and waited as the camper pulled to a stop. A masked man came up to the window and knocked

"Hello?"

"Hudda hudda" he waved, May smiled

"Hey pyro let us in"

"HUH HUCK (spy check)"

"Bloody 'ell"

Before May could ask what was going on a burst of fire burned through the camper "YIPE!"

After the fire died down, both sniper and May looked up, checking herself, May was happy to see she was not a pile of ashes, and the fire missed her bags

"HULL HUR" pyro said, giving a thumbs up

"I COULDA TOLD YA THAT YOU BLOODY FIREBUG!"

"What was that?" May asked "and why am I not a pile of ashes?"

"Blu gave you a shot before you were picked up right?" sniper asked, looking from over his glasses

"Yeah..." May said a little confused "it was the respawn shot, but that still doesn't explain why I didn't burn alive"

"Special chemical in the pyro tanks, if you got the shot from blu, only red pyros hurt you"

"Oh, didn't tell us that one"

"The school's neutral, they can't tell ya anything like that"

"But why did pyro try to burn us"

Before sniper could answer, the pyro took off his mask, reviling a red head kid "woof, hot in there, sorry bout that, just a spy check, I'm Nick"

May smiled "I'm May, the new scout"

"Cool, nice to meet you May,"

"Pyro you know the rules mate, no one knows your name"

"It's not a rule, it's just some dumb code of conduct that has no bearing on this war" Nick said annoyed

"So is not taking your mask off..." sniper countered

Nick just sighed and helped May off the camper "so how was the trip?" he asked

"Ok, kind of quiet, and I don't think everyone is thrilled to have a female school brat running around" May said shrugging

"I think it's great, at least there is someone else my age around here besides Jack" said Nick

"Is Jack the other scout?"

"Annoying wanker too" sniper said, looking at his truck, checking for scorch marks

"Ignore Tobias, he is always in a bad mood if he has to be taken from his nest" whispered Nick

"I heard that.." said Tobias, May just laughed "I think that name rule just got thrown out the window" she said "by the way where is the medic's office, I am supposed to report there before anything else right?"

"Oh follow me" said Nick eagerly "the sooner that's done the sooner me and Jack can show you around"

"Sounds fun" said May

The main 'courtyard' of the base was huge to say the least, barren and somber as the two walked to the main doors, the sniper's nest towering over them like tree for an angry hawk. The silence was broken with a loud "TEN HUT!" Both May and Nick stood stark straight as a solider, looking like an angry bulldog, came marching out  
"ALL RIGHT LADIES WHERE'S THE NEW RECIRUT?" he boomed

"RIGHT HERE SIR!" May said, in as loud a voice as she could muster, saluting

"GLAD TO SEE THE NEW SCOUT COMES WITH MANNERS BUT I ASKED FOR A FIGHTER NOT A HANDMAIDEN" he both sneered and boomed, seeing that one of the 'ladies' was in fact, a lady

May wanted to do something, but she got the feeling this was the team leader, so she held back, for now... "SIR I AM NO HANDMAIDEN, I EAT THOSE PRISSES FOR BREAKFAST" she said trying to imitate the volume

"WELL MISSY WE WON'T GO EASY ON YOU, YOU BETTER PULL YOUR WIEGHT OR I'LL SEND YOU HOME IN A SHOEBOX!" the soldier boomed "DISSMISSED" and he marched away, leaving two very confused teammates

"Does he always do that?" May asked, tilting her head sideways?

"Yeah, old drill sergeant so it's a force of habit for him" said Nick shrugging

"oh, ok, was he the leader of this team?" May looked off as the solider; still marching disappeared into one of the buildings

"Yeah, that's Sarge, he actually nice, just a bit…."

"Traditional?" May said as another set of footsteps came running out

"NAH! Try overbearing and loud" another scout stopped short

"HEY JACK!" Nick said "This is our new teammate, May"

"Nice ta meet ya toots!" Jack said

"Don't call me toots bucko" May smirked

"She's got the attitude got the moves?" Jack said

"I guess in my first fight we will know" May said shrugging

"We gotta go to the doc's anyway" Nick added, Jack shuddered

"The only good thing about our doctor, he isn't as cracked as some of the others I heard about" the male scout cringed

"Are they normally as insane as I heard in the academy?" May asked "I heard they were kind of….brutal, if provoked"

"Some better, some worse" Jack said, Nick chimed in "yeah the one on the red side here is real bad…"

"Well sounds like our medic is at least sane" May shrugged as she looked around "where is the medical building anyways?"

"FOLLOW ME IF YA CAN KEEP UP!" Jack said running as fast as he could, May and Nick ran as fast as they could to follow.

The stopped in front of a large building just behind the main part of the headquarters, Jack getting there first with May slightly behind and Nick in his pyro gear huffing and puffing in frustration. "DAMN IT I CAN'T RUN IN THIS STUFF!" he wheezed as loud as he could.

"You ok Nick?" said May

"He's fine, just needs to take the mask off and drink some water" said Jack

"Yeah, and get better ventilation for the suit" Nick added

"Ok" said May as she looked at the building "I guess this is it"

The medical building was very nondescript from the outside, save the blue cross above the door. Inside was nothing but white walls and a white floor, nothing indicating usage or even traffic from the other team members. A mixed smell of penicillin, antiseptic, latex and a strange sweet smell May could not define. At the end of the hall was a door with the word "medic" written on the frosted glass. Outside where some chairs and a strange blue box, a bit like a waiting room in a doctor's office back home, this did little to ease May's nerves.

"So do I just knock?" she asked her two companions

"Yeah pretty much" said Jack shrugging

"Don't worry I don't think Doc is busy…" added Nick "just make sure you do what he says"

"Got it…" May said in a small voice and knocked on the door

"Who is zhere?" a stern voice asked

"Um... I'm the new scout, May?" She said shaking a bit "I was told I needed to see you?"

"Ja ja kommen en fraulien" ordered the voice, May slowly opened the door

"We'll wait for you out here" said Nick softly

The office was as white as the rest of the building on the inside, only with some posters of general medical information along the walls; in the middle of the room was a desk, piled with papers and two file cabinets flanking it like guards. The medic seemed like a stern man, this made May nervous, stern usually meant harsh for her. He walked over and examined the new scout, his steps where like a cadence in the army, left, right, left, right with no break in the rhythm for anything. A few hmmms and humphs later he sat down at the desk again and began filling out some papers.

"Did you bring ze medical reports?" he asked, not looking up

"Yes sir…" May said taking an accordion folder from her bag "they should be in order"

"gut gut…" the stern man said nodding and going through the folder "yes it's all here" he looked again at the new scout "zo fraulien, vhy are you here?" he asked, placing his head on a pair of folded gloved hands

"To help my family financially" she said nervously

"Ah your family, I doubt it's a husband and children, much too young" the doctor said thoughtfully

"Yeah it's more to help my dad…" She started

"Und your mutter…" the medic interrupted

"No, she died a year ago…" she said sadly

"Ah, and vat took her?"

"Cancer... um doc why are you asking me these questions" May asked confused

"Just seeing vhat we are dealing with, standard practice on many of zee teams." The doctor said leaning back

"Ok…I guess" May said nervously, shuffling her feet

"Haff you meet any other teammates?" the medic asked

"Yes, the sniper, the other scout, the pyro and the solider" May said

"AH! Tobias, Jack, Nick and Sarge" The doctor leaned back "and your reactions to zhem?"

"well I think Tobias is annoyed about having a girl on the team, Sarge kind of barked at me so I played the military person with him, Jack and Nick seem ok, friendly enough" She said the medic only nodded

"Danke fraulien, ve are done, I am sure Jack or Nick will show you to your bunk" there was no emotion on the face of the medic as he lead May to the door.

The boys were waiting outside as they heard the medic's footsteps. Something about them chilled the blood of everyone on the team, Jack especially as he looked nervously as the door to the office opened.

"Jack, Nick please show our new teammate to her bunk" the medic ordered before doing a full heel turn back to his office

"How'd it go?" Jack asked as the medic left

"I can see why you are creeped out by him…" said May shuddering "he is so…cold"

"Among other things, even Sarge loosens up every so often" said Nick, Jack nodded

"Well we should get going…" said May

"YEAH you're bunking with us!" Jack said happily

"We are gonna have a blast!" chimed in Nick

"I just hope we get along…" said May softly as she picked up her bag, and followed her two friends, while the sun set bathing the base in a strange orange glow.


	2. Chapter 2

"WELCOME HOME!" Jack shouted as he walked into the barrack. The room was grey, with two bunk beds side by side. One wall had a window, looking over the mountain terrain while allowing the sunlight to stream into the room.

"Nice place" May said

"RIGHT BUNK IS OURS!" Nick shouted as he ran to his bed and flopped down, still in his suit.

"A bunk all to myself, how nice" May said laughing

"And over here we have the bathroom, no shower though, that is in the locker room" Jack pointed to a door on the far side of the room "but it gets the job done"

May looked around, wondering if there was a fourth that would be joining them at some point. "is there anyone else rooming with us?" she asked

"Nah, just us three" said Jack proudly

"Yeah, unless a guest comes, then the empty bunk is theirs" added Nick

"Where did these beds come from anyways, I thought we only got cots?" May asked

"Oh Tobias found them and fixed them up, he is pretty good at that" Said Nick

"Yeah guy goes trash collecting once a week for some reason" Jack said "and man does he stink afterwards" Nick and May laughed as Jack held his nose and shook his head

Footsteps interrupted the merriment as a large man entered the room booming. "COMRADES!"

Nick and Jack looked up "OLAF!"

The large man looked at May "IS THIS THE NEW SCOUT? COME GREET OLAF!" as he lumbered over to hug the female

"Nice to meet you I'm May, you must be the heav…OOF!" Her statement was cut off by the zealous greeting

"Hey Olaf don't squash her, at least not till her first battle" joked Nick

Olaf dropped May on the ground, "awww I just say hello da?"

May laughed "its ok, nice to meet you Olaf!"

"I surprised leetle girl is new scout, you fast and strong da?" asked Olaf, looking over the girl

May nodded "I am also pretty good with my gun, so I hope I can survive on the battlefield"

"GOOD, is good to know your gun, I know my Sasha and Natasha better than anyone here!" Olaf boomed "PYRO! SCOUT! COME IS ALMOST DINNER TIME!" he added as he walked off

"Wow, your heavy is friendly and very…" May started

"LOUD!" Nick and Jack said laughing

"Yeah, that too!" said May

"Well he had one good idea, we should get dinner before the others eat everything and leave us to starve" Nick said

The main building was grey, but more lived in then the medical bay seemed. Footsteps seem to echo as you walked, wafting through the building was the scent of fish frying with some vegetables and rice. Nick and Jack smiled at the smell.

"Guess its Zander's turn to cook, he almost always does seafood" said Nick

"Yeah and it's always good" Jack added "unlike sarge's fish, yuck"

"Sarge's anything is yuck remember" said Nick laughing

"I take it our team leader can't cook?" said May

"Yeah, but we still have to suffer…" said Jack

"How come?" May asked, tilting her head to one side

"Rule of the base, everyone cooks at least one meal when their name comes up for it that day" said Nick

"We tried to make sarge the exception, saying things like him making up plans to get intel was more important but didn't work" said Jack sadly, May put her hand on his shoulder

"If it makes you feel better, I am an ok cook; I have to be at least better than sarge from what I am hearing" she said

"I'M a better cook, and all I can do is boil water and scramble eggs" said Jack laughing

The dining area and kitchen where in the same room, a metal table sat in the middle with ten chairs around it while the heavy sat and waved to the trio as they entered. The opposite wall held a couch where the medic was sitting, looking at some notes from the day's medical reports. Next to him was a fridge with a bottle opener tied to it, Jack walked over and grabbed some bottles of soda.

"Anyone wants a Coke?" he asked

"Sure" May and Nick said at the same time

"DA!" said Olaf

"Nien, I'll vill stay with vasser danke" said the medic disdainfully

"Vasser?" Nick said

"Vasser, you know vat comes out of the zee tap" said the medic

"You mean water sir?" May asked

"Ja, zat is what I said" the medic sighed

"You said it in German doc, we don't speak that remember" Jack snarked, May shook her head

"And I bet English isn't the doc's first language so he feels the same way" she pointed out, which led to the two having a faceoff with tongues out

"Vunderbar, we haff two children now" the medic scowled

"AW is funny, scouts just have leetle bit of fun yes" said Olaf laughing at the whole thing

"Yeah just goofing around" said Jack "good for the morale as sarge would say"

May opened her bottle and sat down at the table. She looked at the back of the room and saw what looked like the team's demoman cooking and singing a drinking song from either Ireland or Scotland, she wasn't sure. Jack flopped down next to the medic and Nick just leaned on the doorframe of the entrance as they waited for the rest of the team to arrive and dinner to be ready.

"Maybe one of us should set the table…" May said thoughtfully

"Yeah except getting near the stove when Zander is cooking is a great way of getting blown up later, and guess where the dishes are?" said Jack

"Perfect… "said May face palming Nick and Jack laughed

"Don't worry about it, once Zander puts the foil on the fish we can set up" said Nick "meantime you might get to meet the rest of us…"

"And see Tobias gripe about being taken out of his nest again" Jack laughed

"He really likes his sniper nest that much?" said May

"Da, sniper like high places, is safe for him" said Olaf

"Ve all haff our quirks frauline" said the medic "Ve haff adapted to each ozer vell"

May nodded "guess I'll have to do the same" she said

"Hey doc what are you looking at anyways?" said Jack peaking over the arm of the medic

"Zome medical records, notzing you need to vorry about" the medic said quietly

"Anything good, like if the spy has a third nipple or something?" Jack asked, trying to get a peek

"Now now petite lapin, none of zat…" said a silky voice from the shadows "my body iz only my business non?

"Let me guess, you are the spy of this team?" said May looking around the room, looking for the source of the voice

"Eric, come greet new scout, is polite no?" said Olaf

"Yes it is old friend" said the spy as he slowly faded back into sight with a puff of blue smoke "and yes madame lapin I am the spy of this team, and the only reason we win any fights"

"YEAH RIGHT! Don't I RUN the intel here while you just snag it and hope you don't get caught before handing off to me?" shouted Jack

"Jack has a point; every member of this team is needed last time I checked right?" May asked, a little irritated by the spy's apparent egomania

"Da we all make good team so long as we do jobs well!" Olaf boomed

"I vill haff to agree with zee scouts, ve are equal here, zere is no one member of zhe team that wins our matches." Added the medic coldly

"Ach, the laddie gets the intel once and he's the big hero, how about all the reds I blew up for ye, do they mean nothing?" boomed a voice from the stove "just fer that, ye get ta set the table!" the Demo walked over and shoved the dishes into the spy's hands and looked at the table as the rest of the team watched with great amusement "well now, which one of ye's the new one?" May nervously raised her hand "um that would be me sir…"

"Well now, we got a lassie? I thought we was getting a scout, not a maid" the Scotsman joked, "so ya think ya can handled us boys on the field there lassie?"

"um actually its May and yeah I am pretty sure I can handle it…" she said

"We'll see tommarra then, fer now let's test those legs of yours, go get the three stragglers before the fish is done" he boomed

"On it!" May said "be back before ya know it!" she said as she dashed off to the nest to find the first teammate.

"YE GOT 20 minutes!" shouted the demo after the running figure

The base was a bit darker in the twilight, but May could still see the sniper's nest clearly, though it helped that there was what seemed to be a lantern light flickering in the windows high over the landscape. Near the ladder that allowed entry to the nest was a bell that had the very crudely made sign stating "RING BELL FOR MEALS AND BATTLES ONLY" May reached out and rang the bell.

"WADDA WANT YA BLOODY SHE GREMLIN!" shouted an annoyed voice from high above

"DINNER'S READY IN 20!" May shouted back

"MINUTES?" The sniper answered back

"NO DAYS… YES MINUTES!" May shouted "JUST HURRY BEFORE WE ARE BOTH LATE!" with that she dashed off to find the other two before the sniper could grumble about anything to her.

May began to look around madly for either a workshop or other indicator of an engineer or a solider when she heard a very familiar sound "TEN HUT!"

"SIR!" May said, standing in salute almost instantly

"AND WHY AREN'T YOU IN THE MESS HALL MISSY?" Sarge boomed

"THE DEMO SENT ME TO GET YOU, DINNER IS IN 15 SIR"

"ALL RIGHT GO GET THE ENGIE AND REPORT BACK FOR DINNER DISMISSED!" with that Sarge marched off.

"Now where would the engineer be?" May muttered as she ran off looking for a workshop or a garage

After about five minutes of searching she saw a sign lit up with some hanging lights saying "workshop, do not enter if door is shut" May knocked as the door opened with her touch.

"Hello?" May said "is anyone there?"

"Well howdy, you the new kid?" said a friendly voice

"Yes, I am here to let you know dinner's ready in ten" she said

"Woof, is it dinner all ready, time sure flies, names Tex by the way" said the Engineer as he looked up from his work smiled

"I'm May, the new scout" May said "and I should get going before the foods all gone"

"Yeah I'll walk with ya, Zander's cooking right?" said Tex

"He is the demoman right?" May asked

"Yup, best one around too" said Tex proudly

"Then yes, he's cooking"

"WOO DOGGY you're in for a treat darling" said Tex rather happily "no one makes seafood like Zander"

"So I hear" May said laughing as they walked to the mess hall. All that was heard in the night air were the crickets and the rare owl.

The dining room of the base became a raucous area as the last two members of the team walked in and the smell of fish filled the room. The spy was grumbling as he set the last plate on the table.

"Ach five minutes to spare there lassie, not bad..." Zander boomed

"Not as fast as me though" boasted jack

May just shrugged as she sat down in the last empty chair at the table. The air was filled with the stories of the battle from that day, and the grumblings of a few who either did not perform well that day or from those unhappy about being taken from a place of safety to deal with their teammates. May just listened, enjoying some of the more, colorful moments where regaled by the heavy

"…and then I SMASH LEETLE RED SPY, HE MATCH HIS SUIT NOW" Olaf joked, everyone laughed at the thought

"Nice one!" Jack cheered "bet the spook didn't see it coming

"DA is not hard to outsmart someone with is too big for pants..." Olaf said

"huh?" Nick said "the spy's pants where falling off too?

"I think he means the spy was 'too big for his britches' not surprising, he makes Eric look modest" said Tex, laughing

May just shook her head "though having his pants fall off would have been hilarious I bet" she said smirking at the though

"AYE be a right good laugh for both teams if ye be asking me" Zander roar "So lassie whadda think of me fish?"

"Very good, I must have the recipe some time" May said smiling

"Ach sorry lass, family secret, only me wee ones will now it" Zander said "but one asks ye for a secret ye know ye did it right!"

May nodded as she enjoyed her meal

"So iz ze newest member ready for her first battle against our foes?" Eric asked slyly

"Yeah, I hope so, I am able to point and shoot my gun and swing my bat at least" May said

"Better zen the last new recruit, ze lad didn't last five minutes" Eric said sadly

"What happened?" May said

"He was a new solider, but he was too timid, he was here for a few days but one respawn later he was given a section 8" Sarge said, shaking his head "poor kid"

"Ouch, well I know war, even with respawn is taxing, I hope I am ready…" May said nervously

"Da, we hope so, leetle solider looked bad after that" Olaf said

Later that night, May looked out the window near her bed and smiled "I won't let this team down" she thought. She closed her eyes and went to sleep, she needed rest for her first battle after all.


End file.
